Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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