So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
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I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
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All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Damn victory sex feels great
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize