grandma shit on top of the toilet
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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