butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
4 words: hood of his car
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
