im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
