When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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