I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
