My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
