It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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