I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
