Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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