So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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