No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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