well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize