Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
