I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i believe in u and ur pee
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
