no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
