This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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