Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
