Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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