i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
