theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
