I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
