I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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