if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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