You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
