hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
