its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
