Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We have started to decorate penises.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
