i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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