im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
