He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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