Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
