hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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