So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
