i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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