so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
