i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
