I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.