Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Use "feeling words"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES