Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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