So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
