I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize