Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize