He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
