Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
