Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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