Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
