Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just found a bag of teeth...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
