I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
