Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
