Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize