i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
