like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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