I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
