Fuck appropriateness.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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