I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
