We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
