ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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