We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
