i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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