We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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