I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize
