yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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