So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize